Well, really, it just followed me down the street for a bit without me noticing, but what kind of a headline would that be? A bad one.
Fall asleep on train to work. Wake up to find train at relevant station. Recognise need to remove self from train quickly or risk ending up at irrelevant station. Crane arm over apparently empty seat in front to pull self to feet. Apparently empty seat not empty. Unexpected fistful of face. Face attached to startled old lady. Remove fingers from surprised nostrils. Train seconds from departure. No time to explain what happened or enquire after health of old lady. Shout apology over shoulder while running towards door. Acknowledge this is not an ideal resolution to situation. I have never seen that startled old lady since, but not a day goes by when I don’t think about her.
|—||I am the Adam Morrell who very nearly attempted to say something suave and James Bond upon hearing this in a newsagent, but then remembered I am neither suave nor James Bond.|
I was 15 years old on a school trip to Germany and wanted to impress a girl. I ended up impressing her right out of the room and into the arms of a suave German man who gave her a lovebite so prominent that she was forced to wear a turtleneck jumper for the rest of the week.
Because he looked a bit like my dad, basically.
Presumably in an attempted psychological ploy to make me stop running like a lady.
Why was Free Willy sentenced to the death penalty?
Crimes against a manatee.
This is a Power Rangers reference which has a recognition ratio of about 50/50.
|—||I am the Adam Morrell who was very confused when a man stood next to me at a urinal, unzipped his fly and said this. It turned out he was referring to the duration of the event we were both attending, and not his genitals.|